Maryann Hartzell-Curran

from We to Me


Merry Christmas Herschell

By

I repeat this story every year….

On June 4, 2012 Herschell Hartzell-Curran left this earthly life and crossed the Rainbow Bridge. In case you do not know about the Rainbow Bridge, I will give you a short description. It is a place where our beloved pets journey and await a reunion with us…one day. Beautiful pictures of what it looks like replay in my mind. I can see him running again free from sickness. That is a happy thought for me!

rainbowBut his loss seems especially hard at Christmas. This is the second Christmas that he has not worn his red collar. Going through a box of “dog stuff” in the laundry closet the other day, I came upon the first plaid collar I had gotten for him when Herschell was a puppy. Parading around the house after he was groomed, adorned in the plaid, brought me much happiness. I also remember the New Year’s eve when he was my date. Weak because of physical problems, I sat on the steps greeting guests at a little party at the house. He was satisfied to sit there and nestle next to my holiday dress. We probably made a nice couple!

During his lifetime, we always had stockings hanging on the fireplace mantle. His alongside Jack’s, waiting to hold secret treats. Usually Santa brought Puppy Pepperonis and a toy. Santa even attempted to leave healthy, nutritional snacks, but the pepperonis always won! This year his stocking is waiting, because I will always hang it in the same place each Christmas.

When I was at the grocery store last week, I turned into the pet aisle only to stare at a wall of red packaging holding, Puppy Pepperonis. For an instant, this took my breath away, but I did not cry. I guess this is a good sign that I am recovering from Herschell’s absence. But it was a tough few minutes!

So, these final days of Advent will prepare us for the Christ Child’s birth. This time gives us the gift of reflection on our lives. Revisiting different times and Christmases in our lives bring floods of memory to us all. Many of those memories include people, pets and places that no longer exist in the present. But oh, to go back and live those special moments is a gift. Remembering those joys includes memories of Herschell.

I can still hear his piercing bark when the doorbell rang. I can see his gray coated body coming around a corner. I can feel the warmth of his body on my cold feet when I napped. The comedy of his incredibly long tongue hanging out of his mouth after many tooth extractions still makes us laugh. Such joy… but now sorrow that these times will no longer be.

I believe that sorrow cleanses us helping us to heal. The sadness lessens in time, but it truly is real and can be exhausting. I still try to take things easy on sad days looking forward to the happy ones we spend together. The last thing Herschell would want is for our family to stop being happy. His spirit is around,embracing us with warmth. I know he is gazing down the road from the Rainbow Bridge.

On Christmas morning, I would not be surprised if we feel his presence as we open presents. I picture millions of stockings hung on the rainbow bridge’s sturdy walls; each holding memories of the owners who loved their pets. Perhaps, these stockings would have our names on them just like stockings inscribed with pet names. Wouldn’t that be cool? If true, a Puppy Pepperoni would even taste good to me!

So, Happy Christmas, Herschell. We will always love you.

Comments

Thank you to all my followers and greetings to my new ones. Many of you were introduced to my work after reading my first book, FROM WE TO ME…letters to my friend. This was published in the fall of 2013 and has enjoyed some success. Many of those who have read the book have written encouraging comments, saying it was helpful to those who are experiencing grief.

And now…. I’m introducing my second book, From Me to We. Lots of people have asked me why I wrote it, and it’s because I wanted to share my years after the first year, detailed in From We to Me, with readers. I always emphasize that my experiences are just that… mine… and hopefully they will open people’s eyes inviting them to have similar ones. I keep my sense of humor throughout the book but also emphasize how difficult a lot of days were without my husband. Written in three parts, Section One, is how I grew up,  after the death of my husband, Section Two, the beginning of my socializing again, Section Three… taking a chance, falling in love and marrying again.  The stories are candid and the information honest and straightforward.  I’m hoping the book will help lots of people.

I continue to write my Overcoming Grief Blog and have written many stories on my Facebook page. Reading your responses has touched me deeply and given me a nudge to keep on writing. I invite you to spend some time exploring the resources and ideas within my website:

– If you’re looking for a gift for someone who has recently lost their spouse, my first book From We to Me is an ideal way to offer comfort.

– Feeling down and need some inspiration? Read some of my short stories based on experiences with my grief groups as well as personal experience in the Overcoming Grief blog section.

– Did you know I lead grief groups? I am a professional who speaks from the heart. Whether you are looking to start a grief group series or you want her to speak at your next event, contact us. I can bring wisdom and humor to those who need it most.

– If you enjoy sharing tidbits about your childhood with your grandchildren, you may enjoy some of my memoirs posted in Letters to my Granddaughter. I know a lot of you will relate to these letters, and I invite you to write your own.

SO…Welcome to you all. Thank you for all of your support over the years as I made my transition FROM WE TO ME and then FROM ME TO WE.

Listen to Maryann on The Author’s Show Podcast

What people are saying about "From Me to We"

This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is...

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:04-04:00

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”

Thank you again for your beautiful gift.

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something...

~ Nanette

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:35-04:00

~ Nanette

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”

She is honest and that is what most of us need…

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her...

~ Neal

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:47:04-04:00

~ Neal

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”

Her words spoke to me, reassuring me…

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of...

~ Patricia B.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:48:26-04:00

~ Patricia B.

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”
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Maryann Hartzell-Curran