Maryann Hartzell-Curran

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Mary Jane Departs

July 30, 2015 By Maryann Curran 1 Comment

My friend, Mary Jane, called this morning. As I expected, she and her husband have decided to move over to the west coast of Florida. The draw to the west coast for these new grandparents is that of being nearer to family and helping to care for their daughter’s first child. They would be leaving in a few months.

MaryJane_and_MaryannDevastated is probably the best word to describe my feelings. We have been friends for seventeen years, never far from each other and always available via texting, phone calls and e-mails. These forms of communication now would have to substitute for our frequent lunches together and afternoon cups of coffee.

I remember the first time we met. My next-door neighbors, Bob and Betty, had told me about Mary Jane. When I traveled down to Florida from Chicago, my little dog, Herschell, came with me. First, as a puppy in his tiny crate and later as a fully grown dog, flying in the cargo “hold” of the plane. Bob and Betty urged me to meet Mary Jane because she was the “dog walker” in our neighborhood.

That first day, she came strolling by with three leashes in her hands, plastic baggies tucked into both pockets and a smile on her face. We greeted each other warmly and started off on the first of our many walks. I think our love of animals was the common magnet as was our love of reading. Dogs and books drew us together, forming a solid friendship. But the real magnet was that we genuinely liked each other.

I try to think of all the times we shared our lives. Kids, surgeries, husbands, my dating stories, sisters, grandchildren and everyday events filled hours of long walks with the dogs. Herschell learned to keep up with Bowser, her golden retriever; Nike, her Jack Russell and Sushi, a mix she adopted while living in Okinawa years before. Herschell and I often waited at the end of my driveway and Mary Jane picked us up as she came by and we continued our walk. Sometimes we did this three times a day, yet never tired of each other’s company. We always had something to talk about!

An experience that I must mention is when Herschell, on an evening walk, decided — in his puppyhood — to eat a road kill. He found a nasty-looking, dead toad laying in the gravel and before I could kick its body aside, Herschell had it in his mouth, quickly swallowing it whole. Mary Jane immediately said that this could make him extremely ill. I was very scared and believed her comment. After all, she was a retired nurse!

When we got home she asked me for a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide. I dutifully filled her request, thinking she would dab Herschell’s mouth with this often helpful product. Instead, I was told to hold my puppy’s head still, and force his mouth open as she poured it down his throat. I don’t know who felt worse, me or my dog. I was horrified — as was Herschell!

After much agitation, the contents of his stomach spilled out — including Mr. Frog who had become inflated because of all the liquid in Herschell’s stomach. I think even my dog was surprised to see this.

Needless to say, Herschell kept his distance for a few days when Mary Jane picked us up for our walks. Slowly, he edged closer and eventually she regained his trust. He must have learned a lesson because he never ate Florida “stuff” again. Hmmmm…….what a story!

I think that as we age, our really close friends become even closer. That is why when something changes those relationships, like moving away or even death, our lives take a different direction. Mary Jane is one of those friends — so I needed to write this story. In its own way, this could be a love story.

I truly want to say Thank You to her! She knows that writing is my “cup of tea” and she is one of my most avid, enthusiastic readers! So, this one is for you, Mary Jane. Though our communication will now be different . . . it really will not be. In other words, I know you are always there . . . just not nearby!

Filed Under: Grief

Comments

  1. Barbara Powell says

    August 8, 2015 at 3:03 pm

    Loved the story. I too have a friend of fifty years and even though we don’t see each other much, we can pick up and converse as if it was yesterday. Good and loyal friends are hard to come by and even harder to lose.

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Reader Reviews

This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:04-04:00

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1249/

Thank you again for your beautiful gift.

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”

~ Nanette

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:35-04:00

~ Nanette

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1250/

She is honest and that is what most of us need…

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”

~ Neal

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:47:04-04:00

~ Neal

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1251/

Her words spoke to me, reassuring me…

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”

~ Patricia B.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:48:26-04:00

~ Patricia B.

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1253/
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Maryann Hartzell-Curran

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Thank you to all my followers and greetings to my new ones. Many of you were introduced to my work after reading my first book, FROM WE TO ME…letters to my friend. This was published in the fall of 2013 and has enjoyed some success. Many of those who have read the book have written encouraging comments, saying it was helpful to those who are experiencing grief.

And now…. I’m introducing my second book, From Me to We. Lots of people have asked me why I wrote it, and it’s because I wanted to share my years after the first year, detailed in From We to Me, with readers. I always emphasize that my experiences are just that… mine… and hopefully they will open people’s eyes inviting them to have similar ones. I keep my sense of humor throughout the book but also emphasize how difficult a lot of days were without my husband. Written in three parts, Section One, is how I grew up,  after the death of my husband, Section Two, the beginning of my socializing again, Section Three… taking a chance, falling in love and marrying again.  The stories are candid and the information honest and straightforward.  I’m hoping the book will help lots of people.

I continue to write my Overcoming Grief Blog and have written many stories on my Facebook page. Reading your responses has touched me deeply and given me a nudge to keep on writing. I invite you to spend some time exploring the resources and ideas within my website:

– If you’re looking for a gift for someone who has recently lost their spouse, my first book From We to Me is an ideal way to offer comfort.

– Feeling down and need some inspiration? Read some of my short stories based on experiences with my grief groups as well as personal experience in the Overcoming Grief blog section.

– Did you know I lead grief groups? I am a professional who speaks from the heart. Whether you are looking to start a grief group series or you want her to speak at your next event, contact us. I can bring wisdom and humor to those who need it most.

– If you enjoy sharing tidbits about your childhood with your grandchildren, you may enjoy some of my memoirs posted in Letters to my Granddaughter. I know a lot of you will relate to these letters, and I invite you to write your own.

SO…Welcome to you all. Thank you for all of your support over the years as I made my transition FROM WE TO ME and then FROM ME TO WE.

Listen to Maryann on The Author’s Show Podcast

What people are saying about "From Me to We"

This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is...

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:04-04:00

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1249/

Thank you again for your beautiful gift.

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something...

~ Nanette

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:35-04:00

~ Nanette

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1250/

She is honest and that is what most of us need…

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her...

~ Neal

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:47:04-04:00

~ Neal

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1251/

Her words spoke to me, reassuring me…

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of...

~ Patricia B.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:48:26-04:00

~ Patricia B.

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1253/
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Maryann Hartzell-Curran

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