I awoke that first morning with a start. Sitting straight up in bed, I threw the quilt off my body and reached over on my left side. Empty and cold, the sheet slippery with emptiness, I remembered. My husband died yesterday. I was alone in our bed. This time yesterday, he had slept soundly aided by medication that would enable him to slip peacefully away from me later in the day.
I slowly realized that my life had completely changed. Twenty-four hours ago, I was a wife lying next to my dearest John. This morning, he was not here and for a moment my heart skipped a beat with this reality. Where was he? I mean, I knew his body was at the funeral home, but where was he? I could swear that his aftershave permeated my space, that I could hear him turn on his electric shaver or start his hair dryer.
Rationally, I knew these were untruths but my imagination ran wild. Was it possible that I would never lay next to him again? Was it true that he had died? How could he? We took such good care of each other.
These memories, these thoughts always return to me when a friend loses their spouse. Now eighteen years later, this huge change in my life returns with many feelings. Of course, I always promise in conversation that the pain will subside but also always give permission to hurt. As my friend Pat said; We feel heart sore!
Most of us who experienced the wonderful, loving care of Hospice have great praise for their service. I believe that the Doctors and families can work together with them to comfort not only the dying but the living. Someone else to pick up the “slack” so that just being together is all a family has to manage. I found wonderful solace in lying next to my husband as each hour took more and more life from him; knowing that was all I had to do.
Living in a country where death is one topic of discussion frequently avoided, many of us are virgins as to how to cope. After the reality sets in, Hospice can put into place a plan and I found that to be a great gift.
They are the experts in something that all human beings… all god’s creatures must go through. They open the gate to getting where we all must go!
So twenty-four hours seems like a short time until you lost the love of your life. Then each hour, each minute are more precious. Until that last breath, you are a couple sharing life together. Then life has left and eternity takes the soul to a place of no pain, no sorrow and only…happiness.
Thank you to all my followers and greetings to my new ones. Many of you were introduced to my work after reading my first book, FROM WE TO ME…letters to my friend. This was published in the fall of 2013 and has enjoyed some success. Many of those who have read the book have written encouraging comments, saying it was helpful to those who are experiencing grief.
This is so true…after two years I’m still wondering
We’re I fit in this world now.
It’s been 2 years since my husband has passed, how do I combat this loneliness I feel even when I’m around others? Some days are unbearable.
Two years next Friday. I miss Jim so much. I just miss everything about him. I was blessed to have him 34 years, but I wanted MORE TIME, MORE FUN, MORE LOVE.
1 year on June 14,2019. Still have trouble believing he’s gone! The empty bed, eating alone, the loss of my best friend. We have been together since I was 16. Married for almost 43 years before he passed away. I always tell people that I don’t know how to be just me! Maybe one day I’ll figure it out! Miss him so very much!