Have you ever thought about the difference between a picture and a portrait? First, I guess you need to accept that there is a difference because the latter paints a whole picture of its subject…a picture just catches the instant of time it’s taken. By whole, I mean in this story, the story behind the photograph.
My friend was diagnosed with breast cancer in October fifteen years ago. When the time came for the annual Christmas picture with a professional photographer, she dressed in her new red gown, had her nails done and hair coiffed in a swept back fashion. She waited with anticipation for the family of adult children to come by and gather around the piano. That was the setting for the last twenty-five years and she wanted it to be the same this year.
But that was all that was the same, it was different for many reasons. She shared with me, over coffee just last week, that when she looks at the picture, thoughts and fears fill her memory. She said that she wanted to have the picture done early because when her chemo started, her hair would fall out. She had accepted that this would happen as best she could, but was still frightened about this side effect.
She showed me the picture as we enjoyed our lattes. I looked at my beloved friend, loving her even more– knowing what she had shared with me. From the outside, I saw her beautiful face, her stunning family and the lovely setting in her home. But what the portrait, not the picture called out to me, was this.
“I am valiant. I will win this battle and I want many more years with these wonderful people surrounding me. I want to play in the sand with my potential grandchildren, I want to go to Antarctica with my husband and I want that new red Cadillac in the showroom. I am going to beat this cancer with all of my might and then some.”
We both looked at each other. She covered my hand with hers and tears formed in her eyes. “Thanks for being my friend and thank you for really knowing me.” Then we both cried and hugged each other knowing we were the winners, not the cancer.
Merry Christmas my special friend!
Thank you to all my followers and greetings to my new ones. Many of you were introduced to my work after reading my first book, FROM WE TO ME…letters to my friend. This was published in the fall of 2013 and has enjoyed some success. Many of those who have read the book have written encouraging comments, saying it was helpful to those who are experiencing grief.
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