Maryann Hartzell-Curran

from We to Me


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Living, Loving and Losing a Dog

July 15, 2024 By Maryann Curran Leave a Comment

As I write this many friends and family have lost pets this year… unreal.  We all know the loss… maybe in appropriate to say, but the pain is close to losing a human being. Maybe because our pets are really extended people in our life journey.

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inside_dogMy friend, Ann, knowing that I love dogs, gave me the new book Inside of a Dog written by Alexandra Horowitz. I am now finished with it and want to share my feelings and some facts from its contents. I write this a few weeks after other friends lost their fourteen-year-old dog. His name was Dusty and I want to dedicate this to him.

One of my favorite quotes from Inside of a Dog is found on page 241. “I believe I was more worried about her well-being than she was about mine. Still, much of my well-being hinged on her — not her knowing how to fix dilemmas great or small in my life but rather on her unremitting cheer and constant companionship.” Dog lovers would probably agree with me that that pretty much sums it up in describing why we are dog people. Alexandra goes on to explain that the use of the article “a” instead of “the” is very important in her books. She believes that the use of “the” is more personal and less scientific.

I believe that most of us will agree that the constancy of our dogs is important. No waterhole you feel, what kind of abuse you suffered out there in the world or what hour of the day it is, our dogs are there. Walking barefooted over a warm spot where our dogs lay before our return home is comforting. Seeing overturned pillows, even a shredded shoe or the wastebaskets’ contents strewn over the floor emphasizes their presence in the house and in our lives. I am sure we all can relate many experiences like these.

Today on our morning walk, we stopped to share a poignant moment. Our neighbor was out with his fifteen-year-old dog. The dog is now ill, perhaps from a stroke which has limited his movement. He is blind, deaf and no longer walks but stands in one place. We shared observations. Though I could not say anything comforting, I hope my presence was at least helpful, keeping him company while we both felt sad watching the dog’s struggle. I have prayed all day for them, knowing a decision to end the animal’s pain is inevitable.

Dusty, too, suffered similar symptoms. About the same age as the dog above, he steadily lost contact with many things he had enjoyed during his active life. His last days were filled with sleep and inactivity. But he did take a walk with his beloved owner hours before he died, giving her joy. He died peacefully two weeks ago today, on the comfy chair he had shared with Nancy, surrounded by his family.

Another beautiful depiction from the book is found on page 300.

When Pump was nearly at the end of her life and undeniably old, she lost weight, her muzzle grayed and she slowed sometimes to a stop on walks. I saw her frustrations, her resignations, her impulses pursued or abandoned. I saw her considerations, her controls, her calm. But when I looked into her eyes she was a puppy again.

Sharing life with our dogs is an important event filled with adventures even on the most boring of days. I hesitate using the word “boring” because all days of life are precious. But though a dog’s perception of time is not really understood by humans, we know the happiness we feel walking through that door and being greeted, loved and accepted every day. It is with pleasure that I am part of the ranks of dog people. Blessings to Dusty, his family and to all of us who have taken the risk and fallen in love with a dog.

 

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Reader Reviews

This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:04-04:00

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1249/

Thank you again for your beautiful gift.

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”

~ Nanette

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:35-04:00

~ Nanette

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1250/

She is honest and that is what most of us need…

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”

~ Neal

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:47:04-04:00

~ Neal

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1251/

Her words spoke to me, reassuring me…

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”

~ Patricia B.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:48:26-04:00

~ Patricia B.

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1253/
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Maryann Hartzell-Curran

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Thank you to all my followers and greetings to my new ones. Many of you were introduced to my work after reading my first book, FROM WE TO ME…letters to my friend. This was published in the fall of 2013 and has enjoyed some success. Many of those who have read the book have written encouraging comments, saying it was helpful to those who are experiencing grief.

And now…. I’m introducing my second book, From Me to We. Lots of people have asked me why I wrote it, and it’s because I wanted to share my years after the first year, detailed in From We to Me, with readers. I always emphasize that my experiences are just that… mine… and hopefully they will open people’s eyes inviting them to have similar ones. I keep my sense of humor throughout the book but also emphasize how difficult a lot of days were without my husband. Written in three parts, Section One, is how I grew up,  after the death of my husband, Section Two, the beginning of my socializing again, Section Three… taking a chance, falling in love and marrying again.  The stories are candid and the information honest and straightforward.  I’m hoping the book will help lots of people.

I continue to write my Overcoming Grief Blog and have written many stories on my Facebook page. Reading your responses has touched me deeply and given me a nudge to keep on writing. I invite you to spend some time exploring the resources and ideas within my website:

– If you’re looking for a gift for someone who has recently lost their spouse, my first book From We to Me is an ideal way to offer comfort.

– Feeling down and need some inspiration? Read some of my short stories based on experiences with my grief groups as well as personal experience in the Overcoming Grief blog section.

– Did you know I lead grief groups? I am a professional who speaks from the heart. Whether you are looking to start a grief group series or you want her to speak at your next event, contact us. I can bring wisdom and humor to those who need it most.

– If you enjoy sharing tidbits about your childhood with your grandchildren, you may enjoy some of my memoirs posted in Letters to my Granddaughter. I know a lot of you will relate to these letters, and I invite you to write your own.

SO…Welcome to you all. Thank you for all of your support over the years as I made my transition FROM WE TO ME and then FROM ME TO WE.

Listen to Maryann on The Author’s Show Podcast

What people are saying about "From Me to We"

This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is...

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:04-04:00

~ Dr. Lynn Deegan, Psy. D.

"I have known Mary for almost 25 years and have read many of her manuscripts. From We to Me is by far the most beautiful of her works. She painstakingly shares her memories of the first 365 days of her life as a widow, including moving events most of us would be too embarrassed to reveal.  I recommend this to not only those who have lost a loved one, but to anyone who is afraid to feel.  This is a journey of courage; one that we will all travel someday.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1249/

Thank you again for your beautiful gift.

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something...

~ Nanette

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:46:35-04:00

~ Nanette

“I’ve read 38 letters…I am taking my time and reading few each night enjoying each letter. I always find something that I can relate to in losing my parents and even my cat, KitKat.  Yesterday was 11 months since Dad had died and I found myself getting out of bed last night and going into his room to talk to him. I love the story of JT and Kelly walking in your footprints…how wonderful. Thank you again for your beautiful gift.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1250/

She is honest and that is what most of us need…

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her...

~ Neal

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:47:04-04:00

~ Neal

"What makes FROM WE TO ME different than other books on grief is the openness of the author and her honesty with her feelings. Not kid gloves but boxing gloves are a good way to illustrate how she treats the elements of her loss e.g. anger, fear and regret. She is honest and that is what most of us need when a loss inflicts pain on our “perfect” worlds. Thank you Maryann.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1251/

Her words spoke to me, reassuring me…

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of...

~ Patricia B.

Maryann Hartzell-Curran
2019-05-01T11:48:26-04:00

~ Patricia B.

“I loved Maryann’s first book for many reasons -- the main one that when I read it, my husband of 55 years had just died. Her words spoke to me reassuring me that my feelings were a lot like hers and my day to day walk alone was comforted by God’s love. I can’t wait to read the new book because I have started dating and have lots of questions. I know she will cover that in her new book, FROM ME TO WE.”
https://maryanncurran.com/testimonials/1253/
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0
Maryann Hartzell-Curran

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